Consider Pegasus (Starship Teapot #3) SIGNED paperback
Consider Pegasus (Starship Teapot #3) SIGNED paperback
This signed paperback has the old cover. Once they're gone, they're gone forever.
A secret unicorn, a desperate family, and a cop dead set on hunting them down.
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How will I get my book?
This is a signed copy – I'll have to walk down the street with it to the post office. I'm selling the remaining copies at a steep discount in hopes of moving them out of my cupboard.
Can I read a sample?
Consider Pegasus: A space tale about unicorn rights
Chapter 1: A salad plate?
‘I still can’t believe you two walked all that way in the dark.’ Bexley heaved another crate into the getoff, the big ground-to-orbit vehicle we were loading. She had swiftly become my best friend in my new life in the Galactic Union. She looked a bit like a small chestnut-coloured horse on two legs with orange eyes and a long, blond mane.
I shrugged. ‘It wasn’t a big deal. Spock looked after me. She could see where we were going somehow.’ I smiled at my German shepherd as the clouds above obscured the planet’s distant sun. It wasn’t exactly bright out – but this was as good as it got around here. I shuddered – I couldn’t wait to see the back of this place. ‘Well, no. She couldn’t see. I’ve no idea how she could tell where we were. But she could. She kept me on the road.’
Spock raised her head. ‘Spock good girl?’ She couldn’t help carry crates but she accompanied us everywhere as we loaded up. She and I had been kidnapped from Earth more than six months earlier in a case of mistaken identity.
Smiling, I buried my hand in her thick fur. ‘The bestest, mate.’
Before heading back to grab the next crate, Bexley stopped to stroke Spock’s nose. ‘We couldn’t ask for a better physical protection officer.’
Spock lay down on her back, one leg kicking in the air. ‘Rub belly?’
Of course, both Bexley and I obliged.
With one hoof still on Spock, Bexley looked up at me. ‘What about you, Lem? Are you feeling more settled now that you have specific responsibilities on the Teapot?’
For the first few months of our new life in space, I was uneasy. I knew I belonged and I felt welcomed and accepted – yet I didn’t feel like I had a purpose of my own. But during our work evacuating the residents of planet Dave last month, it became apparent that my experience as a project manager on Earth could actually be useful in my new life. I breathed in the planet’s stale, dusty air. After coughing most of it back up again, I replied. ‘Yeah. I am. It feels good to add value. I like being productive. It’s got me feeling more settled now.’
Bexley stood back up. ‘Good. I’m glad. I mean, obviously, I’m not glad that you think you weren’t being productive before. Because you totally were. And even if you weren’t … we value you for who you are, not for what you can do for us.’
I pursed my lips. ‘I know. But I suppose I’ve always been a bit … I don’t know. The odd one out, I guess. No matter where I went or who I was with, part of me always felt like I didn’t really fit in, you know?’ It was tough to articulate what it was like to be just a little bit out of place all the time. Or a lot out of place. Depending.
Bexley chewed the air for a moment. ‘I know. Believe me, I get that. I—’
Whatever Bexley was going to say next died away as Henry rolled up to us pushing a trolley full of crates. ‘Hey, meat-based people.’
Henry was a smooth blue cylinder who looked a bit like a vacuum. Or a rubbish bin. Her incredibly refined and cultured voice always seemed at odds with her insults and sarcasm.
‘Hi, Henry,’ said Bexley. ‘We’re going to make it on time, right?’
Henry extruded a pair of pointy implements and jabbed them at the crates. ‘If you muffler parkas could stop taking breaks and hurry up with the loading, we will. The client said the frolicking job was ours so long as we got there by the end of the day. At warp five, we’ll be there with a few corking hours to spare.’
Henry was unable to overwrite the programming that prevented her from swearing. But she always found ways to make her meaning clear.
‘Sweet.’ Bexley hoisted up one of Henry’s crates and hauled it into the getoff. ‘We’ll get to Hard Rock station and collect the merchandise and… Oh my gosh! I’ve just remembered all over again what this job is. Have you ever even seen Galactovision? We’re going to be carrying gear for Megaboulder! Like, we actually get to meet Megaboulder. And she’s trusted us to transport her equipment to her next gig. Do you know how cool that is? I mean, seriously?’
Bexley and Aurora had both been gushing about this for days. From what I could gather, Galactovision was essentially Space Eurovision. The horta won last year with their entry, Megaboulder and the Accountants of Doom. Megaboulder and her band were capitalising on their fame with a galaxy-spanning tour. I was cautiously excited to see what Galactovision was all about – but so far it was a complete mystery.
We were loading the last of Henry’s crates into the getoff when BB and Aurora approached, steering another trolley with two crates.
I smiled at both of them. ‘Hey, you two.’
BB lifted her golden yellow wings in greeting.
‘Hello, everyone,’ said Aurora.
Spock ran to meet them – well, Aurora mainly. ‘Food friend! Bring Spock treats?’
BB reached out with her lower set of hands and ran her talons through Spock’s fur. ‘I’m pretty sure you’ve eaten recently.’
Spock’s face fell. ‘Spock not eat today. Starving.’
Aurora glowed royal blue and her nebulous form sort of quivered. ‘That’s simply not true.’ She extended a gassy nub of herself and tickled Spock’s chin.
Spock wagged her tail hopefully. ‘Feed Spock?’
I hustled over to where they stood to break the cycle. Spock could play this game all day. ‘Come here, sweetie.’ I put my hand on her back and steered her back towards the getoff.
Bexley sort of ran-skipped over to BB and Aurora and waved a hoof at the trolley. ‘Is that the last of it?’
BB tapped one long talon on the top crate. ‘Indeed. That’s everything. Once these are loaded up, we’re good to go.’
* * *
Half an hour later, we were loading the same crates into our cargo bay when Bexley dropped what she was doing. ‘Oh, oh, oh! It’s my dad calling.’ She squealed and danced in circles around the room. ‘Not the one who owns the company that makes the engines. And not the one with the pink mane. And not the one who’s always after me to – well, whatever. Anyways, this is the one I talk about most. Remember I suggested we should all go visit her and her spouses after the next job? She’s the one I spent most of my time with growing up. You’re really going to like her. Oh, and her spouses are amazing, too. I mean, I don’t know the newest one all that well…’
‘You should probably answer the call, Bex.’ I covered my chuckle with one hand. ‘Or she’s going to hang up.’
‘Oh, right.’ Bexley pressed a few buttons.
‘Hello? Bexley, is that you?’ A new voice spoke into the room.
‘Hang on.’ Bexley fumbled with her tablet. ‘I’m just putting you on the holo.’
‘No, Bexley,’ replied the voice. ‘I think this might—’
‘It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ve got this.’ Bexley was clicking and tapping on the tablet. ‘Just … one … more… There!’ With her final swiping motion, three tiny people burst into existence in the air above her tablet. That is, they probably weren’t actually tiny. But they were tablet-sized at the moment. And they appeared to be crowded into a phone booth or maybe a shower.
‘No, Bexley,’ said a bright white areion with a pearlescent mane and a charcoal nose, who I immediately dubbed Storm in my mind. ‘This maybe isn’t the best time for you to have all your… No, actually, you know what?’ She fiddled with something that looked a bit like a fidget spinner – though one designed for areion hooves instead of human hands. ‘We’re going to need to impose on your friends, so maybe it is for the best. I mean, it’s hardly the ideal way to meet them, but—’
Another areion, this one shorter, plump, and grey with a long purple mane, put her hoof on the first person’s arm. ‘Sweetheart. It’s going to be okay.’ She waved cheerfully at all of us. ‘Hey, Bexley. Hello, Bexley’s friends.’
I waved back. ‘Hi, Bexley’s family.’
‘Oh, everyone. This is my family. Well, one of my families.’ Bexley waved a hoof at the holographic representations on top of her device. ‘This is my dad.’ She pointed to the white areion before gesturing towards the grey one. ‘And this is one of my dad’s spouses. They’ve been together since I was a kid. I spent a lot of my adolescence with them after … well, after things happened.’
The whole introductions with no names thing took some getting used to. Universal translators didn’t do names because, apparently, they didn’t translate. Sometimes they were a collection of noises another species couldn’t make or couldn’t hear. Other times they had meanings that were sort of like inside jokes shared by a whole culture or planet. So the universal translator didn’t try. Instead, you were meant to assign names of your own choosing to everyone you met. Or let your AI choose for you.
Hence, people introduced themselves and one another using job titles or by describing how they were connected.
Sometimes names came to me easily … and sometimes they didn’t. After naming Bexley’s dad Storm in a heartbeat, I called her grey spouse Jean.
But I drew a blank when Bexley got to the one remaining person. ‘And this is Storm and Jean’s newest spouse. Well, I say newest. They’ve actually been married now for…’ Bexley gestured towards the tallest member of the family, a navy blue person with a short spiky mane – like a brush or a broom. ‘How long has it been since you joined the family? It’s got to be at least a few years. I remember you were all courting when I moved away to college. I mean, the first college. Or was it…’
When I couldn’t think of names, I stuck to an alphabetical naming scheme. The next letter up was P.
Peggy. I decided to call this new step-parent Peggy.
‘I’m not sure your friends are all that interested in our family history.’ Jean arched an eyebrow as she looked down at Bexley. I hadn’t noticed their species even had eyebrows until that moment. ‘I’ll tell you what, though. I’ve got a new joke for you. What’s purple and makes an annoying sound?’
‘Ooh, I know this one,’ said Bexley, tapping the side of her head. ‘I know it. It’s something to do with the smell of the ocean, and the season of the moon, and—’
‘Bexley, stop! This isn’t a social call.’ Storm crossed her arms over her chest. ‘Well, no, that is, it is. But also it isn’t. There’s something we need to talk to you about. It’s urgent.’
Aurora began floating back towards the door. ‘Come on, everyone. Let’s give the family some privacy.’
Storm and Peggy both tilted their heads.
Jean still had one hoof on Storm’s arm. ‘No.’ With her other arm, she pulled Peggy into the embrace. ‘This concerns all of you. You should stay.’
I watched Storm’s muscles rippling beneath her fur as she clenched. ‘This is a secret matter. That’s why we’re in the… We need to—’
Jean stroked both Peggy and Storm’s arms. ‘That’s true. But we need their help. All of them.’
Storm leant her head on Jean’s shoulder. ‘They are Bexley’s family after all.’
‘What is it?’ Bexley’s pointed ears were swivelling back and forth like little satellite dishes trying to catch a signal. I reached across the space between us and took her hoof in my hand.
Jean took a quick breath. ‘There’s no easy way to say this.’ She clasped her spouses’ hooves in her own. ‘We’re expecting a baby.’
Bexley leapt up off the floor. ‘That’s amazing! Congratulations. I’m going to have a little semi-sibling. That’s the best news I’ve had all… Hang on.’ She chewed the air for a few moments. ‘Why do you need our help? Oh, is it a medical problem? Do you mean BB’s help? Because BB’s an amazing doctor.’ She scrunched up her face. ‘But I’m sure there are plenty of great doctors on Hwin. Why would you need—’
‘Bexley!’ Storm held her hooves in front of herself.
‘Do you want to maybe let us tell you?’ Jean picked up a bowl from somewhere out of the holo-camera’s range and tossed a small purple orb into her mouth.
Bexley stopped moving. ‘Okay. Sorry.’
Jean was clearly the dedicated spokesperson for the family. ‘The embryo is almost ready for transfer to Storm. The surrogate had her scan and—’
Bexley’s eyes went wide. ‘Oh.’
‘Yes, oh.’ The mini Jean looked straight into Bexley’s full-size eyes. ‘She has the defect.’
Bexley sat down on the floor and leant against my leg. ‘So…’ I dropped down next to her.
Storm stamped her foot. ‘We’re not doing it.’
BB took a step closer to Bexley and her family.
Peggy blew air out noisily, making Jean’s mane flutter.
Jean’s muscles rippled beneath her grey fur. ‘Hell, no. We’re not doing that to our baby.’
Bexley scrunched up her long nose. ‘You’re not correcting the defect?’ Her eyes shot open wide. ‘Oh, but that means…’
Jean looked around herself like she thought someone might be listening in. ‘Yes, it does.’
‘We’re leaving.’ Storm clutched her fidget spinner.
BB brought one of her hands out from under her wings as she stepped up to face Bexley’s family. ‘Am I to understand your baby has some sort of genetic issue?’
All three areions on the holo-wotsit tapped their hooves in the air. Yes.
BB reached up her hand and ran her talons over her beak. ‘And there is a procedure available which would correct it? But you’re not planning to have it done?’
Jean squared her shoulders. ‘That’s right.’
Aurora floated to where BB, her spouse, stood. ‘May we ask why?’
‘Because it’s barbaric.’ Storm dabbed at a tear. ‘There’s nothing wrong with our baby – or any of the other babies born with this so-called defect.’
Peggy reached around and stroked Storm’s pale silver mane.
‘It’s a cruel and antiquated custom,’ said Jean. ‘It shouldn’t even be legal. They say the defect is nothing more than an evolutionary throwback. But Peggy’s research… Well, you should explain, sweetheart.’ She squeezed Peggy’s shoulder.
Peggy adjusted her glasses. ‘I’m a molecular biologist with expertise in musculoskeletal physiology.’ She spoke in a breathy baritone. I’d never actually figured out how Holly assigned voices to people. It seemed to take them from people I’d known on Earth – either personally or from television, film, or podcasts.
‘I’ve done extensive research into the matter. And it all points to the fact that the so-called defect – which is caused by an autosomal dominant allele on gene THX-1138… Well, simply put, there are no concomitant disorders recorded. And, of course, you could say that there are so few people with the defect uncorrected that there may well be increased risk for certain conditions. But while the N is low, it’s hardly non-existent.’ Peggy paused and looked around. ‘I’m sorry – this must all be going right over your heads.’
Speaking of heads, I scratched mine.
BB wasn’t built for sitting but she sort of squatted down next to Bexley and leant over the tablet. ‘I’m a doctor, so er… While I can’t speak for my colleagues, I certainly understood what you said. Can I ask, though, how does the defect present?’
I figured the conversation was about to get far too technical and scientific for my understanding. But I was sure BB would know what to do.
Jean held her hooves out towards BB, tracing two lines in the air. ‘Wings.’
BB’s feathers bristled. ‘Yes, I have wings.’ She spread them out a bit – showing off the riot of colours normally hidden beneath. ‘What about them?’
Jean held her breath for a moment. ‘I’m sorry – I wasn’t clear. What I mean is our child has wings.’
Storm sobbed. ‘They want us to cut them off.’
Jean crossed her arms over her chest. ‘That’s not going to happen.’
BB held Jean’s gaze. ‘I don’t understand. Why would you even talk about cutting a baby’s wings off?’
Jean chewed the air. ‘It’s the law.’
Aurora engulfed her spouse within her gaseous form. ‘What do you mean it’s the law?’
‘The law requires our baby to undergo surgery the day she’s born,’ Jean said softly. ‘Her wings will be taken from her.’
Within the confines of the space they occupied, Storm pressed her way to the front of the group. ‘That’s why we’re calling. We need your help. Help me, Bexley – you’re our only hope.’
‘We need you to – for want of a better phrase – smuggle us off this planet.’ Jean held her hooves out towards BB’s wings again. ‘To save our child.’
Bexley sat up. ‘We’re a collective. I can’t decide for everyone. There’ll need to be a vote. I can’t just—’
I glanced up at the others. ‘Everyone in favour of saving Bexley’s family, say “yes”. And for the record – yes.’
‘Yes,’ said BB and Aurora in unison.
Henry extruded something that looked like a corkscrew and whirred it aggressively. ‘Cup yes. Bollarding baskets and sweet mother of goat, yes. Let’s go already.’
Bexley had tears in her eyes as she looked down at Spock. ‘What about you?’
I ran my fingers through Spock’s fur. ‘What do you say? Should we help Bexley’s family?’
‘Help Bexley.’ Spock pawed at my hands. ‘Rub cheeks.’
Bexley looked up at her parents. ‘Well, I guess that’s it. We’ll see you soon. Once we calculate the journey, we’ll let you know our arrival time. I suppose we might have to stop for unobtainium to recharge our dilithium…’ She waved a hoof in the air, brushing the idea away. ‘Whatever. It won’t be more than a day or so. We’ll keep you posted with our arrival time.’
Storm and her spouses were clutching one another in a tight embrace.
‘Thank you.’ Jean smiled sadly. ‘We can’t thank you enough.’
‘Hey,’ said Bexley. ‘You never finished the joke. What’s purple and makes an annoying sound?’
Jean grinned broadly. ‘A salad plate.’
Bexley groaned. ‘A salad…’ She groaned even louder. ‘Oh, Jean, you are such a pervert and a dork, and I love you so much. See you all soon. Love you all. Bye!’
Jokes don’t translate well from one language to another. But they really don’t work when you’re dealing with a whole other species from a completely separate part of the galaxy and no common frames of reference.
Before the call disconnected, Peggy looked at Jean and said, ‘A salad plate? I don’t get it.’
Why should I buy direct from the author?
When I published my first book in January 2020, someone at work laughed and asked me when I was going to quit my job.
There's this perception out there that authors are wealthy people. And I'm sure the big names (e.g. Richard Osman, Stephen King, John Scalzi, etc.) are doing just fine.
But it's not like that for indie authors. It's tough out there. There are great, amazing things about being an indie author. But most of us aren't making bank.
You know who is making money out of books? Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon.
You may have noticed a move in recent years of indie authors selling their books directly to you. There's a reason for that.
If you buy a book for 0.99 from Amazon, the author gets to keep maybe 0.26 of that. Maybe. It depends on the file size. And they won't even get that for around 3 months. But if you buy a book from an author for 0.99, the author gets to keep around 0.83. And we get that money within days.
Because that first book I mentioned? Four years later, it hasn't come close to paying for itself.
If you can't buy direct, libraries are a great way to get books for free while still helping authors get their fair share.
What's the deal with audiobooks?
This book is available as an audiobook. But if you're in the UK, then for tax reasons, I have to sell audiobooks via a different host. You can get it below.
How long is this book?
3–4 hours
53k words / 173 pages
A secret unicorn, a desperate family, and a cop dead set on hunting them down.
Lem and the rag-tag gang of galactic adventurers on the starship Teapot are set to become roadies for the galaxy’s hottest band – but an urgent call from Bexley’s family means the rock stars will have to wait.
Bexley’s soon-to-be-born sibling has a big secret: wings. On planet Hwin, skeledivergence is outlawed, so the Teapot crew swoop in to help the family escape.
But their planet won’t let them go that easily. Hunted across the galaxy by a fanatical and eerily familiar cop, the Teapotters must find a way to outwit their pursuer and secure a future for skeledivergent people everywhere.
Dive into the next adventure in this satirical space opera series. Artfully intertwining deep themes with tongue-in-cheek humour and intergalactic ridiculousness, Consider Pegasus is a must-read for fans of Ryka Aoki’s Light from Uncommon Stars or TJ Berry’s Space Unicorn Blues.
Scroll up and grab your copy now!