Facebook, part the first

Oh, friends. Do I have a tale of internet stupidity for you.

This is the story of me trying – and repeatedly failing – to set myself up to advertise my books on Facebook.

Caveat the first: Please do not tell me I shouldn't be giving money to the giant evil beast that is Meta. I know. I don't like it either. But if I want to continue writing books, I need the ones already out there to pay for themselves. Which means people need to find them. Which means advertising.

Caveat the second: Please do not reply to tell me to try [whatever]. Because the answer is yes, I have already tried it. Having said that, if you do happen to have the secret contact details for Facebook's support team, please tell me.

Anyways. So. Indie author. Looking to sell some books.

I set up my store. My existing readers are using it. It’s working fine.

But in order to do any advertising, first I have to connect my store to my Facebook profile via something called a pixel. So far, so easy. I do that. It works fine.

Then I go back to Facebook. I’m ready to set up my advertising account.

Facebook says I can’t do that until I enable 2FA. Okay, let’s do that.

Except… Computer says no.

via GIPHY

It says I cannot enable 2FA because I don’t normally use this device (spoiler: I do normally use this device). Please wait a while and try again.

Over the next week, I try multiple times from multiple browsers and multiple devices. No joy.

I clear my cache and delete all my cookies and try again. No joy.

I’m getting really frustrated now.

As a small business owner, every single time I post or comment on someone else’s post, Facebook tells me I really should set up Messenger on my account so that my customers can CALL me.

My customers do have ways of contacting me, thanks. Just not via Facebook. Go away.

But does Facebook have a way for people to contact them? Reader, they do not.

I try getting my partner to help. His brain works differently from how mine does, so maybe he’ll see something I’m missing.

Nope.

I eventually find a way to contact Facebook support. I tell them what’s happening.

Do I get so much as an acknowledgement in response?

Of course not.

I ask on multiple authors’ forums. No one has any suggestions (other than the things I’ve already tried).

No, wait. That’s not true. Someone suggested that the only reliable way to contact Facebook is to TWEET AT THEM.

That’s right. The only way to contact a giant social media platform is via a competing social media company.

So eventually I decide this just isn’t working. I’ll set up a whole new Facebook account specifically for my business.

I do that.

So, now I need to connect the new Facebook account to my Shopify store. It was easy the first time, so it should be easy the second time, right? Right?

Wrong.

The instructions on how to disconnect one Facebook account and reconnect a new one are really simple.

But. But. But…

Shopify says I don’t have the rights to do that.

Now, thankfully, Shopify has really good support. You know, unlike Facebook.

I contact Shopify support and within 5 minutes I have someone on the case.

He walks me through the instructions, but again … same result. He has me repeat them but from within a private window. Same result.

He goes away and consults with his colleagues. A few minutes later, he comes back with an answer.

The account is locked on the Facebook side. Because of course it is. He suggests I contact Facebook support so they can help me resolve this.

I tell him about everything that’s gone on and ask if he has a means of contacting Facebook. He tells me to leave it with him and he’ll try to come up with an answer.

That’s it. That’s where we are.

Continued in part the second.

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